Have you noticed a natural tendency to curate your life? I recently talked to one of my good friends about being our real and authentic selves with others. Being “real” doesn’t come naturally to us, though. Speaking for myself, I would generally much rather people see the good parts of me and keep those less-than-flattering things to myself. When I do that, though, I am “curating my life” for others to see…and that’s generally not good.

Social Media: Good and Bad

Social media has its benefits, but I think it also cultivates things about us or in us that really shouldn’t be cultivated. I read an article just today about the detrimental effects social media can have on children. Those detrimental effects include depression and thoughts of self-harm. I didn’t read the whole article, but these detrimental effects have been a common theme with those sounding the alarm about social media.

Social media has also cultivated a culture “good” at curating our lives for others to see. Generally, people are not sharing their real struggles on social media or the “skeletons in their closets.” We may share acceptable struggles, but, many times, we’re not sharing those struggles that are not popular or are maybe a bit taboo.

Is Curating Our Lives a Good Thing?

However, being good at “curating our lives” is often a bad thing. I think that curating our lives on social media is one of the things that leads to depression and thoughts of self-harm that can plague so many who are plugged into social media. Why is that? In general, people know that they have issues, but they see all of the beautiful people on social media succeeding, celebrating, smiling, and thriving. We generally don’t see people on social media sharing their common, everyday struggles or feelings of inadequacy — struggles and feelings that we personally have.

In Galatians 6:1-2, God tells us to bear each other’s burdens and come up beside those who are struggling and hurting to strengthen them, encourage them, and even restore those who are overtaken by a fault. In Romans 12, God also tells us to share in each other’s happiness and sadness—in the good times and the bad.

Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep. Be of the same mind one toward another. Mind not high things, but condescend to men of low estate. Be not wise in your own conceits.

Romans 12:15–16.

How can we do these things that God commands unless we are real with one another? If we show only our “good” side, how can our relationships with those around us be deeper than the superficial level?

I don’t know about you, but I want to have deep, meaningful relationships with people. Deep, meaningful relationships aren’t possible, though, without both parties showing love, being truthful, and being authentic — not curating a persona that isn’t real. I concede that we must be wise about not oversharing and must apply a wise “filter” to our speech. But we must also guard against being dishonest about who we really are by presenting only what we want people to see rather than just being our true selves.

What about you?

Have you ever considered the effects that curating your life has on your relationships? If so, how have you worked to combat your natural tendency to hide your true self? If not, how might you work to be better about being real and authentic?