Twenty years ago, we stood together in front of our family and friends and before God to become man and wife. What a wonderful thing that it’s been to be married to you, Franicia.

When We First Met

I can remember so well when Franicia and I first met. I was amazed that a woman so beautiful and delightful was interested in talking to me. And we could talk...for a long time...about so many things!

When Franicia left the Naval Academy to go back to Saipan, I figured that we would never see each other again. She gave me one of her cards before she left, though, and I stumbled across her card months later and figured that I’d send her an email to see how she was doing.

Emails Turned to Phone Calls

To my delight, the Lord had been working in her heart in wonderful ways, and she had made a profession of faith and had been baptized shortly before I started writing. Our emails and AIM messaging sessions turned into phone calls that spring, and we started thinking of ways that we might be able to see each other that following summer.

So many things had to happen in order for us to be able to see each other that summer. I had summer training, and Franicia was so far away in Saipan. A round-trip ticket from Saipan was about $2.5k — $2.5k that neither of us had.

Visiting with Each Other in Georgetown

When she was in high school, Franicia attended college preparation summer programs prior to her junior and senior years. Because of her connections in Saipan and previous experience, she was offered a resident assistant position that summer of 2001, and, miraculously, her travel to the states and stay in D.C. coincided with the summer training period that I was free. Since I was still considered dependent on my parents and my dad worked for Delta, I was able to fly for free from Atlanta to DC, and we spent most of that few weeks together. I’d catch the first flight out of Atlanta, visit with her in Georgetown, then I’d catch the last flight back to Atlanta. It was a wonderful, happy summer.

A Surprise Gift from God

Our time together was truly a gift from God. Only He could’ve worked out the details of our travel and timing. He even gave us a special gift after we thought that our time together that summer was over. While I was in California with a USMC aviation squadron, a C-130 squadron down the street was going to be going to Hawaii and offered me and the midshipmen with me seats on the flight going to Hawaii and back! This was during the time that Franicia was also in Hawaii getting some training for her teaching job in Saipan! We had a wonderful couple of days together there, and we even got to have a special dinner at Dukes restaurant. We both believed fully that God is faithful and that He loved us, but, after He blessed us with that extra time together in Hawaii, we knew for sure that God loved us and that everything would be ok.

When I saw Franicia again that summer after having not seen her for about a year, she was even more delightful and wonderfully-beautiful than I remembered her to be. Her beautiful smile and eyes had a different light and spark. I could hardly take my eyes off of her and couldn’t believe that we were spending time together again. We both grew to delight in one another, and our delight turned in to a deep love and commitment.

Making Plans for Marriage

That summer, we started making plans to get married after my graduation that next spring. We had an engagement and were engaged, but, in my mind, it wasn’t official since I hadn’t given Franicia an engagement ring. Yes, I had been successfully marketed to by the jewelry industry.

Visiting Franicia in Saipan

That winter, we decided that we wanted to try to see each other in Saipan during my winter break. My plan was to ask Franicia to marry me — ”officially” — and put a ring on her finger. I had every intention of doing just that, and everyone that knew me and knew that I was going to Saipan knew that my plan was to propose. Again, God worked out all of the details (and so many things had to happen just right), and I spent almost my entire winter break with Franicia in Saipan.

Pumping the Brakes?

After I had been there for a few days, though, I started to worry. “Maybe,” I thought, “I’m just asking Franicia to marry me because that’s what everyone expects. Maybe I’m not doing it because it’s what I want but because I’m trying to live up to everyone else’s expectations.” I didn’t want to live with questions like that in my mind, and I told Franicia after one of our amazing afternoons together that I wanted to take a step back from our relationship and take things a bit slower. She seemed fine with that, but, surprisingly, I was devastated! I realized once we had “taken a step back” that I REALLY loved Franicia and wanted to be with her for the rest of my life.

Considering Life Without Franicia

I think that we had dinner that next night at a little Japanese restaurant. I don’t remember much about our meal or about the place, but I definitely remember Franicia. She was so incredibly delightful to be around. I thought about what I had done — pumped the brakes on our relationship — and what that might mean. I realized that I might not get to marry this amazing woman, and, once again, she might leave my life like she did when she left the Naval Academy the year before. She told me later that she was devastated during that time too wondering what the future held for her, but she completely trusted God knowing that He always would have her best interest in mind.

Popping THE Question

That same night, we went to a beach-side restaurant at the Pacific Island Club Resort to continue going through a workbook (the same workbook that we recommend to couples planning on marriage or married couples who just want to get to know each other better), I realized even more that I definitely wanted to marry Franicia. I rushed through the final sections of the book with Franicia, and, when I felt like I knew enough about her to know that she and I would make a great couple, I decided that that was the night — the night that I would officially ask for her hand in marriage.

I asked that she excuse me while I went to go look for some papers that blew out of my workbook, went down to the beach, wrote the question in the sand, then came back to our table, and asked her to join me so that I could show her something. I asked her to close her eyes while I led her to the beach, got down on my knee, and popped the question. I was really terrified that she’d say no. After all, what was she going to think about my flip-flopping? What kind of guy was I really if I say that I want to marry her — the previous summer even — only to decide to pump the brakes then two days later decide that I want to get married? I really wouldn’t have been surprised if Franicia said “NO,” but I had to know.

Franicia’s Surprise Answer

I was so relieved when Franicia smiled with tears in her eyes and said “YES!” We could hardly wait to be husband and wife. We really would’ve preferred to get married right away. Short engagements are the way to go, but I couldn’t get married until after I graduated that May. When I finally did graduate in Maryland, my family and I hurried to Saipan as quickly as we could so that Franicia and I could “tie the knot” only 8 days later.

I’d Choose You!

If I could do it all over again, Franicia, I would still chose you. I’m so very thankful that you didn’t think poorly of me for flip-flopping on you that December over 20 years ago. I’m so very honored to be your husband. I am so very thankful for the wonderful, delightful children that God has blessed us with and that we’ve poured our lives into together. I can hardly believe that we’ve been married for 20 years. They’ve been 20 wonderful years, though, and I pray that we’ll be blessed with many more wonderful years together. Thank you for loving me...no matter what...so well. Thank you for believing in me! I love you, Franicia, and I was right. Being married to you has been absolutely delightful!

Thank you, God

Thank you, God, for making Franicia and me husband and wife and for the past 20 years of marriage. We don’t deserve Your goodness and mercy but are incredibly grateful and thankful for every blessing. Amen.